An Idiot’s Guide to Grilling…

It’s not real difficult…cooking on a gas grill is really a fairly simple thing to do…much easier than trying to cook with charcoal and lighter fluid…unless you’re an idiot like me…

There are just 3 simple things I do before slappin’ the meat on the grill…if the wife wants grilled vegetables or seafood she’s on her own, those aren’t my things…but, before I start cooking the 3 steps required are…

clean the grill grates with one of those hard-bristled brushes…turn on the gas to the burners…press the igniter button…then enjoy some delicious cooked meats in a Jiffy…am I right?…unless you’re an idiot like me…

Last night, my kid’s girlfriend stopped over…what better time to throw some sausage on the grill?…and after wasting 20 minutes defrosting 2 packs of frozen meats, I made my way outside to the grill…

I turned on the gas…I cleaned the grates…and I depressed the igniter button…in that unfortunate sequence…

2F0198F6-2BD2-433B-B0BA-85FAA9430BD1-5608-0000030ABEC69897have you ever heard of the Darwin Awards?…given to people who’s natural selection (unfortunate demise) serves as a warning to others…and if you’ve been paying attention to what you’re reading, by now you know how I almost became a Darwin Award winner…

because while you can always brush…turn on the gas…press the igniter button…you can even turn on the gas…press igniter button..then brush…unless you’re an idiot like me…

don’t ever turn on the gas first…brush the grates second…and press the igniter button last…unless of course you want to catch fire…and you’re an idiot like me…2324E6DC-7D80-435E-80F3-1D51BA44F50A-5608-000003066E1A44CC

I’m okay…my Neo-like-from-the-Matrix-movie reflexes allowed me to bend away from the fireball spat at me from the inside of my grill…leaving me with only some singed hair…which smells really bad when it’s burned…and the subject for another long-winded blog post…and yes I know…I should always keep a fire extinguisher nearby for emergencies…just like me…

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