And Then She Broke My Heart…

By the time you’re done reading this, you’re probably going to think less of me…difficult thing since the only way you may even know me is through my posts…but, I have to get the story out because it’s eating away at me…my moral Compass is broken…when it comes to my daughter’s future, I only see disappointment and sadness in a decision she is about to make…

Many have told me I’m wrong and that I should be proud in the decision she has made…and maybe they’re right..however those same people don’t really know me, don’t really know her, don’t know the relationship we’ve had…I thought I did, now I’m not so sure…my issue…and here is where people are going to hate me…my daughter at the age of 26 has decided to enroll in Naval Officer Candidate School…she wants to join the Navy…

I should be proud of her decision to serve her country…but all I see is a daughter who I always thought cared about what I thought…who cherished the relationship we always had…we were always each other’s buffer…we had the same personalities, many of the same likes and dislikes…a place where each of us could go to talk and just hang-out when we needed a break…but now, all I see is someone who didn’t value that relationship…my advice…maybe didn’t care as much as I thought she did…

Today’s political climate has nothing to do with my feelings about her decision…my feelings are born from my feelings of abandonment…my wife and I gave my daughter every opportunity to succeed in life…maybe too many as it turns out…an education at the school of her choice…school-sponsored trips abroad to places I may never see in my lifetime…vacations each and every summer…although I probably needed those as much as anyone else in our family…

I don’t know how to talk with her anymore…her decision to leave and my decision not to be accepting of it has driven a wedge between us…one which I’m not sure I’ll ever get over…my daughter is an extremely smart, beautiful young lady, and there are so many people she can help directly in this country without joining the Navy…there are plenty of non-profits or other volunteer opportunities she could take advantage of that could help people now, right away when it’s needed most in our country…but she’s choosing another path…one I can’t accept…as she was growing up, my daughter stole my heart…now as an adult…she’s breaking my heart…

My moral compass is broken…and I don’t know how to fix it…

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8 thoughts on “And Then She Broke My Heart…”

  1. That’s a pretty tough time you’re going through….. I can’t begin to imagine how a parent might feel when their child begins to move away from the love guidance comfort and security of home and parents. As much as I have no experience in these matters, could you try seeing it through her eyes just once…..? Maybe both of you will get closer for the effort you make at least. Good luck.

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    1. Thanks for reading and your words of encouragement. I’ve always put my daughter first and allowed her to try and do many things. Maybe the most painful part of this is that she didn’t seek out my advice prior to doing this and allowed herself to be sold by a Navy recruiter who has no regard for what happens to her after she signed her papers. I understand the problem is mine and that I have to accept it and support her, I’m just not there yet. Thanks again.

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  2. I understand your feelings but as an old salt myself I would say let her go, she’s an adult, she loves you, and it was your advice that got her to the point where she is strong enough, and confident enough to make this choice. I would support her decision, let her know that you might not agree but you support her choice, because you love her. The Navy is a great experience – I recommend submarines.
    This is, of course, only what I would do. You need to do what feels right to you.

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  3. It is rough when our daughters make decisions about their futures that are outside our comfort zones, etc. She sounds like a wonderful young woman who you raised to think for herself and be motivated to succeed. That she has chosen the Navy over drugs and alcohol is an accolade to your parenting in this day and age. I commend you in this.
    Love her, listen carefully to her dreams and support her with all the love you can muster before you lose her. {Spoken as a mom of an estranged daughter}

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Although her choice is different than yours would be, you raised her well. In an age when so many choose drugs and alcohol over education and a future, your daughter has planned a career! You raised her well . . she is able to make solid decisions and will be able to provide for you as you age. Love her, listen carefully to her dreams, pull her close before you lose her . . {spoken as a mom who’s daughter is estranged}.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for the honest thoughts you shared. Compared to facing the decisions of our adult children, parenting toddlers was easy. I’m with you. She should have sought your advice. She may regret her decision later…or maybe not. Step out as soon as possible to extend your love to her, supporting her no matter what. Looking back, my dad was so patient and loving…even when I was stupid. I’ll never forget that.

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    1. Thanks for your comments. I think she didn’t seek advice because she knew I would disagree with her. There were some difficult conversations the weekend she told us of her decision, something I think she was trying to avoid. She was home last weekend on her way up to school in NH. We didn’t talk about her choice, but I did make sure she understood that she was my daughter and I loved her regardless of what I thought of her decision to join the Navy. I owed her that much. Thanks again for reading.

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