Six Degrees to the…

Oval Office…or how I know the Clintons.

As you’re reading this you’re probably asking yourself…

“Didn’t Facebook disprove the Six Degrees Theory?” 

Or maybe…

“How is a nobody like this guy connected to the former President and his wannabe President wife?”

Let me answer those 2 questions as best I can?.. and remember you asked for it…

First, who gives a hoot about Facebook anyway and…

Back in the 2nd grade I appeared…

On camera…

on The Gene London Show which was a local Saturday morning kids show starring…you guessed it…

1. Gene London 

As we were waiting to enter the Cartoon Corners General Store for the beginning of the program, a classmate…let’s call her Lisa…because that was her name…asked me to switch places in line…making Me the first to run in and lead my classmates into the store. What an amazing break in my young life…THANKS LISA! (Like most girls she generally ignored me after that until our senior year of high school…) Anyway, someone, I don’t know, director, producer, janitor, told me that I should run in and jump up on the counter (remember, I said it was a general store) and Gene would throw a box to me…

a little clarity here…

First of all they should have put a spring board next to the counter…I swear it was higher than me…and Gene had about 3 boxes he tossed to kids around the room until the last one, with confetti, fell on his head. Ha ha ha, we all laughed. They told us to. So I ran in, made my one giant leap for mankind…nailed it by the way…turned to face Gene…and sent the gum ball dispenser sliding across the counter. “Cut, let’s do it again. Can somebody move the gum balls before he breaks the machine?” I was humiliated. They did however, let me do it again, and this time, perfection. Now as I waited on the counter…

praying like a 9-year old right fielder that I wouldn’t drop the fly ball (box) and cost my team the game (Take 3)…

Gene tossed the box, I caught it, once again without breaking the gum ball machine or falling off of the counter, and the rest as they say…is television history.

Now Gene, who was an artist and puppeteer in his early days, is my first step to the Oval Office because he worked with…

2. Shari Lewis & Lamb Chop

That’s right, Shari and that silly little sock puppet, are the second degree on my way to Bill and Hillary.

As a kid I can remember, kind of, Shari doing a show in which her and Lamb Chop (is anyone getting hungry?) hosted a show for kids…of course it was for kids…that showed movies you probably never heard of. My favorite was always Skinny & Fatty, a film about 2 children in Japan, one was a skinny and the other was a fatty…the kids made fun of fatty because he couldn’t climb the rope in gym class…

no wait, I think that was on  Kukla, Fran, & Ollie. Oh well. Who cares?

Shari and her little sock puppet however did appear on the final episode of Sesame Street (Season 27 show # 3525) which leads us to number 3 on our journey to the Clintons…

3. ELMO

By no means am I a fan of Elmo. Elmo was indirectly responsible for Kermit the Frog leaving the “Street”, as well as less air time for Big Bird, Oscar, Bert & Ernie, and other popular characters. I think his status as a “fad toy” clearly went to his head (remember, Tickle Me Elmo?). However much resentment I have for this 3rd person talking, scene stealing, too big for the room puppet, he opens the door to my relationship with…

4. Barbara Walters

Barbara Walters is the glue that holds all of these relationships together. She was in 2 Muppets productions, Stars and Street Forever, The Sesame Street Special (Put Down the Duckie), and in 2005 she hosted the Annual Sesame Workshop Benefit Gala. She obviously knows her Muppets. The other thing about Barbara Walters…she has probably interviewed every political newsmaker who was, well, in the news at that time. So with that you know she had to interview…

5. Monica Lewinsky

Monica was interviewed on March 3, 1999 by Walters while 70 million people who had nothing better to do watched. If you don’t remember Mons…she was Bill Clinton’s favorite blue dress wearin’ White House intern. That is of course until their friendship was Tripped up in September of 1997 by phone recordings and some kind of a stain on previously mentioned blue dress. We can send a man to the moon but we can’t get the spot out of a blue dress? Wonder how they will write that up in the history books? It was a real stain on the Office of the Presidency. So, while I would not invite Monica and Hillary to my backyard barbecue, I will say that Monica is responsible for the erection (too much?) of my last degree of separation to the Clintons…

6. Mr. And Mrs. POTUS(s?)

Is this whole thing a stretch? Without question. But it is possible. Hillary might be able to beat Bernie Sanders in the primaries, and any candidate the Republicans can Trump up making Bill the first First Man. First Husband? Current 3-term President? President Bill-ary Clinton? Whatever…Bill, just leave your sax at home when you come to the barbecue, I have Spotify and a good Bluetooth speaker. Oh, and Hillary, there is no WIFI in my backyard, so leave the laptop at home. Take a break from checking emails. And NO, you cannot borrow my iPad for an hour!

So there you have it. Six degrees to the Oval Office. Better known as Six Degrees of Separation, or the more popular, Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon.

I may not have remembered everything about the Gene London show correctly, I will tell you I did switch with Lisa, yes that was the last time we spoke until high school, and yes I did run in and hop up on the counter. Twice. A little fuzzy on whether it was gum balls or something else in the dispenser and if we all laughed when the box fell on his head. We might have cheered.

I also could not find a rule that said everyone on the list must be living. Shari Lewis is currently deceased, however the current state and location of Lamb Chop is unknown to me. If anybody knows…?

Monica Lewinsky probably doesn’t need to be on this list. Pretty sure Barbara Walters knows the Clintons herself and doesn’t need an introduction from Monica. That would put my Clinton # at 5 and not 6. Just thought it would be more fun working her into the group. The sacrifices…Once again my final 6…