If It’s Gonna’ Be…I’d Rather It Not Be Up To Me…

There’s an old saying about not defecating where you eat…well, I would never do that, and it really doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m about to share…

The problem here is…I live near where I work, not that I do the aforementioned defacating…I could walk to and from work if I had to, and I have…so if an emergency were to say spring up…maybe the store night manager has to leave in a hurry?…who they gonna’ call?…yeah, it was me…and it was after putting in a 9 hour day…I had just gotten home and was settling into my favorite old-man Bahama shorts and t-shirt… maybe even a quick nap since my wife was away at church for the next hour…when the cell phone started ringing…

Normally, I would have just let it ring and go to voice mail…but no, my son, thinking he was doing me a favor, hurried over to pick it up…some day, God as my witness, I’m tossing that kid outta my house…

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And of course it’s someone from the store…and of course he felt that I needed to take the call rather than lay down and nap in peace for an hour…and yes, it was the store and they asked if I could return to work for another fun-filled 5 hours as the night manager…see, here’s the thing, remember I said I could walk to work…well, it turns out I wasn’t even the first choice to fill the role…I wasn’t called until they were left with no choice…maybe I should be grateful for not calling me until everybody else said no…but for some reason I feel like my talents were disrespected by them not calling the easiest, closest alternative?…how screwed up is that ass-backward logic, right?…

The everyday role I have in the store is also shared by 5 other employees…when you have a store open 24/7 and 7 days a week, you need lots of leaders…and if you’ve ever read anything else I’ve ever written, you would know that I’m the token old man…older than any two of them put together…so when an emergency like this pops up… and it really doesn’t, this is the first time ever…but when it does, you can bet that these young whippersnappers are off doing fun things…not laying around in their old man shorts and t-shirts…

To wrap this up, the night went smooth with no problems and I was done by 1 AM…I do have to laugh though…the youngster who is in charge of scheduling said that I can just leave early from one of my shifts this week…I may be getting old, but why the hell would I leave early at a later date and lose the overtime I put in last night?…making the 14 plus hours I worked all at straight time?…sorry kid, I may be old and you may be smarter than me…know all the new math and stuff…but I still remember the value of time and a half vs. straight time…the value of a buck vs. a buck-and-a-half…grow up!…

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Tell Me Again Why the Hell Am I Here?…

This week I started my new job…it’s an entry-level management position at a large family owned chain of grocery stores…it shocks me that they even called me in for an interview since my resume shows no retail management experience whatsoever…even more after two of the responses I gave them during my face-to-face interview…let’s just say if I had a coach with me during the interview…they would have passed out where they sat after listening to these answers…one about intentionally breaking a company policy which resulted in a customer extorting $4,000 from me…the other about an employee who actually told me during his review that his job performance was suffering because a witch had cast a spell on him…both true stories, but answers no coach would ever tell you to repeat in an interview with a potential employer…

..but surprisingly, they hired me anyway, maybe they appreciated the two stories, the likes of which they’ve probably never heard from a job candidate…and it made me wonder, what the hell was going on around here that they would hire someone with no retail background and who gave unverifiable and extremely hard to believe answers to two interview questions?…what kind of desperation would cause them to ask me to wait after the interview so they could put me in front of the store manager?…

I’m pretty sure the store manager had better things to do, but apparently he did not…I think I actually hooked him when I was able to get from him during our discussion that he was an Eagle Scout, like my son, and that I as an adult leader with my son’s troop had taught the Eagle Scout rank required Communications merit badge…my pretend coach would have shit wooden nickels over this part of the interview…apparently they were at least satisfied that I was an acceptable candidate since they offered me the position on Monday morning (I interviewed on a Friday afternoon)…

So this week when I started full-time, I hoped I would be able to figure out why the hell they chose me…why would they hire me with my background into an entry level management position rather than promote from within, which they claim is their policy (I do believe that to be true)…the answer was as easy to see as the gray hair on my head…was I a poster child for them?…the token gray-haired employee in what is otherwise a job done by much happier and younger looking millennials?…am I just a placeholder?…a Proxy until an actual, more acceptable, smiling faced millennial comes knocking?…and if you think I’m overreacting, why in the name of Sam Hill haven’t they taken down the job posting yet?…You think about that one…I know I do…

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