I’m No Gardener Either…

Of all the things people have called me…master gardener isn’t one of them. My 2FE43938-E665-468D-868B-37BB2E6FDE85-2145-00000172701E5C7Dhouse…is where flora and fauna of many types go to die…brutally choked out by the things that thrive at my house…the common pokeweed with its delicious appearing, yet poisonous berries, and the ability to climb higher than the 5’11” I am…and how in the name of Jerry Baker…(apparently he’s a master gardener of some popularity and shouldn’t be confused with the televangelist Jim Baker)…did I manage to get Canada Thistle in my Pennsylvania yard?…thistle is migratory?… like some sort of goose?…and yes, I grow the equally annoying and harder to remove, bull thistle as well…my yard has no prejudices.

No spring or summer would be complete without the annual battle with my true F255F762-76BA-4FAA-8213-36971858854D-2145-0000013C14D2C86Anemesis…poison ivy. I pray every day…whatever bird, rabbit, deer, or other woodland animal that Amble onto my property daily and plant that vile weed into my yard…die a thousand deaths for all the pain, itching, swelling…the doctor’s visits…the steroid treatments…all of it…for what they put me through…

That’s right…I’m no master gardener…if it was up to me, I’d mow it all over and throw down grass seed.